this entry was originally on my Xanga blog from 2006. nobody, including me, goes there anymore, and as i needed to link to it, i'm reposting it here.



it's funny how perspective changes things. four or five years ago, i'd have thought that it was a sin issue causing all this automobile/financial pain. that for this much to go wrong must be a sign that something isn't right in my life. now, don't get me wrong...there's always something not right in my life. but i don't believe that's what this is about. i think it's about giving up...about letting go...about realizing that to follow Jesus, really follow Him, means that i'll live with less, hold on to less, desire less. at the same time, i'll suffer more, need more, and rely more on the One who had no place to lay His head.

i believe two S words have held me captive in my life, and probably much of the western church. stuff and security. i am not mobile with stuff. i cannot move instantly anywhere when encumbered with stuff. and there is a never-ending supply of it. as i've gone through the decision to sell all of my video game systems it's been easy to do with all the old, antique systems. but the xbox has been a difficult one to say goodbye to. why? because there are so many cool games that are always coming out. great chances to hop online with friends and have a pseudo-communal time. i love that...i enjoy it very much. but hours go by and weeks go by and months and years go by and there's always a new game or a new system. there's furniture and cars and definitely clothes (i can't even remember the last time i bought new clothes)...a never-ending stream of stuff to have. most of it's totally benign, too...innocuous. and each thing is another difficult thing to shed when God says "move...I've laid out what I desire from you already in Scripture. do not wait for some special dispensational "calling". THIS is what I require of you..DO justice, LOVE mercy, and WALK humbly with me." or Isaiah 58...or Matthew 25, or any one of the 3000 places in His word to us where He says to move on behalf of those that lack.

the other word is security. this is a feeling gained by stuff. from the basest...money...to the most fun...love...and a million places in between...it's being insulated from need because need is covered by all these things. is there a difference between our fulfilling our needs and God supplying them? maybe not, at the bottom level. God is good and gives us work and health, and allows our needs to be met. but are we losing faith when we build up stockpiles of things to counter need? is it wrong to be secure? is it different than being wise with what we're given? i think so.

Jesus told the rich man, "sell all you have and give it to the poor...then you will be saved." but then who would take care of the rich man? well, i believe God answers that all through Scripture. He will provide as need arises. i cannot create a place so secure that it cannot be stripped away (see Job) in no time. i can create a place that is secure enough in my mind that i don't need anymore. security has stripped me of need, and now i am the rich man. and i tell you truly, as sad as that rich man was at the thought of giving up everything, so am i. it is a hard layer to peel away. in fact, i believe that the rich man would have struggled just as much if Jesus said give 1/2 of it away because he would have had to choose which among his possessions he would give up. so i now have to ask myself every day, and sometime even more frequently.

what is it that i would not give up in order to live in a way that lets me live like Isaiah 58 describes. what earthly dreams, hopes, or desires are more important to me than life in the Church as God commands. what safety will i need? what value must i gain? what limits will i impose? to be honest, i don't beileve that i can hold to anything and follow Jesus. it is a journey, to be sure...layers of resistance and self peeled away. but Jesus stated in Matthew that to follow Him meant being willing to leave everything behind. does it mean walking out of my house and heading for zambia? or mexico? or chicago's englewood neighborhood? leaving my family? selling my car? giving up everything? well, let me ask me (and you) this? what will i not give up? what is there to gain in this world that will not be far exceeded in value in the next? is sacrifice, and i mean to the point of pain, here worth it? can i live without a nice home with a view and a wife and kids and dogs, insulated away from the overwhelmingly obvious needs in this world? will i trade an eternal reward by my father for something to which i cannot hold...which may make it through this life with me or be gone tomorrow, but will certainly not join me at the Judgement Seat. am i willing to live counter-culturally?

Jesus' ministerial role was one of honor and glory as the other men in His profession saw it. they lived above most in that time and carried on with only a token compassion for the suffering. Jesus gave up standing and stature among the world, and lived with poor, common, or less than common folk. He spent His time with sinners, the sick, the downtrodden, and as He himself said, had no home to go to. He did not only give up everything when He went to the cross. He gave it up long before then. there was no security in His existence. and there definitely wasn't any stuff. if He is the model i am to become...the image...the benchmark...then i have a long way to go.

as if i didn't already know that...

for all the questions in my heart, mind, and soul about the way music is generally the sole expression of worship in the church, and a lack of clarity on how to even broach the subject of altering that, i have to admit that there is something special about singing to God. it's almost weird when you think about it. what is it about singing that lets us say things we don't say well, or at all, without music? why do notes and rhythms change our poetry to a deeply affective response. i don't know. but even in all my wrestling with the text of Isaiah 58 and Micah 6 regarding the heart of God on what He wants and requires, i do still know that there's something about singing that He loves and we love.

and so there are many times that the the most connective moment for me on a sunday morning is one line from one song worming it's way past all of life and into my deeper thoughts and feelings...and it happened this morning.

carlos ruiz led worship this morning, and did a great job, as usual. his first song, Open the Eyes of My Heart, brought back thoughts i've had for a while, as this was one of the songs that first sent me on my journey of undefining and redefining worship.

the second song was in Carlos' native tongue, Spanish. i don't remember the name, but he's led us in this song before. essentially it says if you have faith equivalent to a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain "move" and it will be moved.

about halfway through the chorus i was overcome with this thought. the very thing i mulled over on the way to church, the very thing i fretted over on easter sunday (and nearly every day for quite some time), and the thing that's been the 6 year weight...well, i don't have the faith of a mustard seed toward any of them. i'm not going to go into great depths on what they are, but in brief, the hope and desire to get married, the broken relationship between my brother and sister-in-law, and tunnel of debt that resulted from bad business and worse personal decisions, in that order, ran through my mind in the space of a second or two.

the sermon was good, excellent even, but it was singing the word "muevete" over and over where God spoke to me and gave me my lesson for the day. it's been with me all day. i've mostly come to grips with the first one, lost hope in the second, and have been working very hard to break past the third. and today i was reminded, in the most common form of worship, through words that may have not struck home without the music, that these mountains might cause me great struggle, but my Father is not hampered by limitations.



i was gonna write more, but i guess that sums it up pretty well. besides, it's time i wrote a post under 4 chapters long.

i spent last thursday evening listening to a PhD from University of California, and a Magna Cum Laude graduate of Loyola University discuss the prison system in the US. the stats are ridiculous and at some point i'll probably write more about that, but when they're combined with the stories of those oppressed it starts to become much clearer why God has to speak directly to His people about how we treat prisoners.

i'm pretty sure that the command to help prisoners isn't restricted to the common idea of introducing them to Jesus, with the "obvious" result being that they'll all become upstanding, rehabilitated citizens. i'm not knocking that. people need Jesus. but what about people who don't belong there. or people that don't deserve what they got. i know...none of us deserve what we get. but you gotta admit, some people seem to get a lot more of what they don't deserve than others. some of it's life. but some of it is more than that. some is people and peoples and groups of people that have power, and use it to advance their own lives at the expense of people and peoples and groups of people that don't have power and are literally kept from advancing anything.

this story hit the AP wire today. when you combine this with government officials who don't think they need to pay taxes, or government officials who think they can sell importance, or bankers who take powerless people's money, run it into the ground, and then take more powerless people's money from powerful people and dole it out in bonuses and such...well...i think a pattern can be shown to exist.

please don't not want to know about it. please don't think we've got enough to deal with in our own lives. it's oppression and it's got to stop. Jesus as savior is not the only Jesus. there's Jesus in the temple tearing down the profiteers' tables. there's Jesus telling parables about who actually is our neighbor. there's Jesus who lived with no place to lay His head, eschewing comfort for gospel. there's Jesus who knew that a full barn would be a huge problem for people that wanted to follow Him. want to know. want to learn. want to stand against. this kind of thing cannot go on...

and here is "this kind of thing"



WILKES-BARRE, Pa. – For years, the juvenile court system in Wilkes-Barre operated like a conveyor belt: Youngsters were brought before judges without a lawyer, given hearings that lasted only a minute or two, and then sent off to juvenile prison for months for minor offenses.

The explanation, prosecutors say, was corruption on the bench.

In one of the most shocking cases of courtroom graft on record, two Pennsylvania judges have been charged with taking millions of dollars in kickbacks to send teenagers to two privately run youth detention centers.

"I've never encountered, and I don't think that we will in our lifetimes, a case where literally thousands of kids' lives were just tossed aside in order for a couple of judges to make some money," said Marsha Levick, an attorney with the Philadelphia-based Juvenile Law Center, which is representing hundreds of youths sentenced in Wilkes-Barre.

Prosecutors say Luzerne County Judges Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan took $2.6 million in payoffs to put juvenile offenders in lockups run by PA Child Care LLC and a sister company, Western PA Child Care LLC. The judges were charged on Jan. 26 and removed from the bench by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court shortly afterward.

No company officials have been charged, but the investigation is still going on.

The high court, meanwhile, is looking into whether hundreds or even thousands of sentences should be overturned and the juveniles' records expunged.

Among the offenders were teenagers who were locked up for months for stealing loose change from cars, writing a prank note and possessing drug paraphernalia. Many had never been in trouble before. Some were imprisoned even after probation officers recommended against it.

Many appeared without lawyers, despite the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark 1967 ruling that children have a constitutional right to counsel.

The judges are scheduled to plead guilty to fraud Thursday in federal court. Their plea agreements call for sentences of more than seven years behind bars.

Ciavarella, 58, who presided over Luzerne County's juvenile court for 12 years, acknowledged last week in a letter to his former colleagues, "I have disgraced my judgeship. My actions have destroyed everything I worked to accomplish and I have only myself to blame." Ciavarella, though, has denied he got kickbacks for sending youths to prison.

Conahan, 56, has remained silent about the case.

Many Pennsylvania counties contract with privately run juvenile detention centers, paying them either a fixed overall fee or a certain amount per youth, per day.

In Luzerne County, prosecutors say, Conahan shut down the county-run juvenile prison in 2002 and helped the two companies secure rich contracts worth tens of millions of dollars, at least some of that dependent on how many juveniles were locked up.

One of the contracts — a 20-year agreement with PA Child Care worth an estimated $58 million — was later canceled by the county as exorbitant.

The judges are accused of taking payoffs between 2003 and 2006.

Robert J. Powell co-owned PA Child Care and Western PA Child Care until June. His attorney, Mark Sheppard, said his client was the victim of an extortion scheme.

"Bob Powell never solicited a nickel from these judges and really was a victim of their demands," he said. "These judges made it very plain to Mr. Powell that he was going to be required to pay certain monies."

For years, youth advocacy groups complained that Ciavarella was ridiculously harsh and ran roughshod over youngsters' constitutional rights. Ciavarella sent a quarter of his juvenile defendants to detention centers from 2002 to 2006, compared with a statewide rate of one in 10.

The criminal charges confirmed the advocacy groups' worst suspicions and have called into question all the sentences he pronounced.

Hillary Transue did not have an attorney, nor was she told of her right to one, when she appeared in Ciavarella's courtroom in 2007 for building a MySpace page that lampooned her assistant principal.

Her mother, Laurene Transue, worked for 16 years in the child services department of another county and said she was certain Hillary would get a slap on the wrist. Instead, Ciavarella sentenced her to three months; she got out after a month, with help from a lawyer.

"I felt so disgraced for a while, like, what do people think of me now?" said Hillary, now 17 and a high school senior who plans to become an English teacher.

Laurene Transue said Ciavarella "was playing God. And not only was he doing that, he was getting money for it. He was betraying the trust put in him to do what is best for children."

Kurt Kruger, now 22, had never been in trouble with the law until the day police accused him of acting as a lookout while his friend shoplifted less than $200 worth of DVDs from Wal-Mart. He said he didn't know his friend was going to steal anything.

Kruger pleaded guilty before Ciavarella and spent three days in a company-run juvenile detention center, plus four months at a youth wilderness camp run by a different operator.

"Never in a million years did I think that I would actually get sent away. I was completely destroyed," said Kruger, who later dropped out of school. He said he wants to get his record expunged, earn his high school equivalency diploma and go to college.

"I got a raw deal, and yeah, it's not fair," he said, "but now it's 100 times bigger than me."

rod blagojevich, illinois' illustrious, soon to be ex-governor, has said and done many things in the past few months to cause one to wonder how in touch with reality he is. my personal guess has been absurd arrogance, but there have been moments where his impassioned claims of innocence have caused me to remind myself that our country must prove guilt.

but then when my thoughts of megalomania start to dissipate a bit Blago pulls this out of his posterior. in an interview with Good Morning, America (part of his whirlwind tour of strange interview defenses that will replace his being present in Springfield for the impeachment trial) he said that on the morning he was arrested by the feds, his first thoughts went to his children and wife. his next thoughts were comparing his situation to that of Mandela, Dr. King, and Ghandi...

really? Rod...did you maybe forget Abe Lincoln? he's from illinois, too.

he does not equate selling a senate seat as an act of oppression, using his power and position for his advantage at the expense of those he governs. he views it as his being oppressed. this is his serious loss of perspective.

truth is, it's not uncommon for privileged people to adopt the position of the victim. sociologists and psychologists say this is a very bad place for privileged people to be...probably not for them, though. it's bad because if the people with power feel they're being wronged, usually it's by people without it. the common folk bear the weight of it.

you don't have to listen closely to hear Rod say that he was fighting for the people of illinois in everything he did. without hearing the rest of the charges that will be coming from the federal investigation, the recorded conversations regarding the selling of the illinois senate seat show that his interests did not lie with the people of illinois. they lay with him. and if that doesn't fly in the face of legacies of self-sacrifice on behalf of the oppressed...legacies left by men like Nelson Mandela, Dr. King, and Mahatma Ghandi...well, than i guess i'm the one who's lost perspective.

i have lived through moments that will forever mark my memory...9/11, the fall of the berlin wall, the space shuttles explosions, and both iraq wars, to name a few, but today stands apart and above them all. this time, every iteration of the swearing in of 43 previous presidents has new in the inauguration of the 44th.

whatever your political persuasions or religious convictions, this day marks a different inaugural event. while the work of making the words "one nation, under 6od, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" true for people of across all lines of color,gender, class, faith, and education is still a long way from reality, there has been no clearer evidence of a country tired of life as usual than today's proceedings.

there will still be struggle. there will still be inequity. there will still be many...many who face injustice...who live apathetic to our interconnectedness and interdependency...who oppose the gains of some because they know it may mean their loss. still, today exposed something different.

there is new and renewed hope. there is new and renewed awareness. there is new and renewed excitement. today, one out of every 260 americans withstood the cold of winter to reveal a warmth of brotherhood possibly never felt in this nation before...at least not in the way it was felt today.

today a new voice cried out. not just the voice of our new president, but of a nation slowly realizing (in the sense of making real) what it declared to be true on the day it was formed. that voice joined the voices of heroes of all ages, colors, nations, and genders who gave their lives, figuratively and literally, to the belief that God created all men are created equal. this new voice was of women and men who stood with that renewed hope as they watched something they barely dared to dream 50 years ago. this voice sprang from the new hope of young people who could see not just a visage of access to everwhere and everything, but a physical representation of it. it came from the renewed awareness of people who grew into adulthood in this country knowing little of any culture outside their own. it called from a generation who tired of legacy left them by their parents and their parents' parents that said freedom was for everyone, but killed or stood by while everyday life proved otherwise. and it sang with the excitement of old and young, red, yellow, brown, black, and white who stood 1.4 million strong together to cheer a day unlike any in our history.

it was no small historic moment. my parents remembered exactly where they were when they heard the JFK had been killed. many can say the same for MLK Jr. i will not forget rising to WBBM radio saying a plane had just crashed into the first Trade Tower. change rose out of all those events. and change will rise from this. some will fight it with every bone in their body, but this will be difficult to slow. it's not the voice of one man leading the charge. it's those reverberation of the old voices and the exuberance of the new voices who have come together it a choir declaring it to be a new day.

this was an Associated Press article posted today.

WASHINGTON – Think you wouldn't tolerate a racist act? Think again, says a surprising experiment that exposed some college students to one and found indifference at best.

Here's the scene: Researchers in Toronto recruited 120 non-black York University students for what purported to be a psychology study.

A participant was directed to a room where two actors posing as fellow participants — one black, one white — waited. The black person said he needed to retrieve a cell phone and left, gently bumping the white person's leg on the way out. The white actor then did one of three things: Nothing. Said, "I hate when black people do that." Or used the N-word.

Then a researcher entered and said the "psychology study" was starting and that the student should pick one of the two others as a partner for the testing.

Half the participants just read about that scene, and half actually experienced it.

Those asked to predict their reaction to either comment said they'd be highly upset and wouldn't choose the white actor as their partner.

Yet students who actually experienced the event didn't seem bothered by it — and nearly two-thirds chose the white actor as a partner, the researchers report Friday in the journal Science.

"It's like these nasty racist comments aren't having an effect," said York University psychology professor Kerry Kawakami, the lead author.

"It's important to remind people that just because a black man has been elected as president doesn't mean racism is no longer a problem or issue in the States," she added.

The study can't say why people reacted that way, although the researchers speculate that unconscious bias is at work. They have new experiments under way to see if maybe these witnesses suppress that they're upset to avoid confrontation.

"The failure of people to confront or do anything about racist comments is pretty widespread in the real world," said Indiana University psychologist Eliot R. Smith, who co-wrote a review of the experiment. "People may feel uncomfortable if someone makes a remark like this, but it's rare they will actually confront them."

so...it's really more like "the first half is over at " these are reflections on lines...on moments i had during sunday's Do-It-Yourself Messiah.

"Comfort ye My people," saith the Lord. "cry unto her...that her iniquity is pardoned." president bush pardoned several people today. i will probably never know exactly what that feels like, but those 20 or so people do. they were guilty and punished and had no hope for anything other than that...and they were pardoned. their sin was accounted to them no more. i am overwhelmed when i think of who i am and what i do and don't deserve, and that i am pardoned.

"But who may abide the day of His coming, and who shall stand when He appeareth?" i've been really struck this christmas season by my self-perceived ability to stand. as i prepared to lead our church in christmas carols a couple of weeks ago, i spent some time praying and thinking through the lyrics of these songs. quite a bit more powerful than i ever remember noticing before. and one phrase in one song...my favorite song...kept hitting me hard. "fall on your knees...fall on your knees...fall on your knees." not for this presidential or kingly figure who came with all sorts of pomp and circumstance. THE King of Kings came in small and tiny human form...and that doesn't often cause me to think "fall on your knees, nate." but who shall stand when He appeareth? this is God. not simply a baby. not simply man. not even simply a king or president. this is God. i cannot, when i think about it, conceive a scenario where i, being confronted with the actual physical presence of God, would walk up and say "hey...how you doin?" and give Him the old guy handshake/hug combo. and yet, in His presence daily, often don't even give that much attention.

"Come unto Him, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and He shall give you rest. take His yoke upon you and learn of Him; for He is meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest for your soul." i needed badly to hear those words in my soul. i my labour is often hard on my soul, and their are things in life that cause me to be heavy laden. whether the news, the enormity of the distress in this world, family matters, whatever...i think i carry these too much. i'm not just concerned or caring or acting or working. i'm carrying. and i haven't got the strength to carry all these things. not even one of them, really. and meek and lowly of heart? i've got some resting in those to do.

"Behold, and see if there be any sorrow unto His sorrow." nope. i beheld. there was none. which reminded me that there is nothing i go through that i can hold up to God and say "why me?" i have suffered. i've even suffered on behalf of another person. but truthfully, if someone were to stand the world's population in a line from shortest to tallest on the suffering scale, i'd be pretty darn near the low end of the line. top 1 percent at least. i was reminded of what i've given up compared to what Jesus gave up. and i can't even really make the comparison because i have NO idea what life was like prior to entering humanity.

"How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things." i heard this differently than ever before in my life. i was struck by the "preach the gospel of peace" part of things and wondered if the hebrew word used there was shalom. it is. isaiah 52:7 and romans 10:15 are where you'll find these words, the latter referencing the former. "preach the gospel" was a common enough phrase as i grew up in the church. that meant that we should tell people that they were sinners, Jesus died for their sins, and made a way to reconnect God and mankind. nothing wrong with that...it's true and a significant part of the story of God. but "preach the gospel of shalom"...that's a pretty different thing. and it was very encouraging to me while it was sung...i actually folded down the corner of that page in my score because i wanted to reconnect with what i was thinking and feeling. the fullness of what adding "of shalom" to that phrase means will have to be for another post. it's not a small thing, and i can't capture it in this paragraph. suffice it to say, it was a profound moment for me on sunday to hear that.

"Why do the nations so furiously rage together, and why do the people imagine a vain thing?" good questions. the first one is easy enough to understand, albeit not so easy to answer. the second is simply the KJV language for pondering/mull/meditate/speak on/study worthless things. i ponder/mull/meditate/speak on/study worthless things. i know sports stats and car stats and beer stats and such, and those things aren't bad things, necessarily. but what will i hope to have gained at the end of my life for knowing all these things. or having things. etcetera...etcetera...etcetera. what will i wish i had pondered/mulled/meditated/spoken on/studied? there's some imbalance in my life here.

"The kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ..." as someone trying to extricate himself from the kingdom of this world, and country, and many other things...and who is praying and working for His Kingdom, on earth, as it is in heaven, these words went pounding out before me like an army marching to battle. for while, as a follower of Jesus, i am called to preach the gospel of shalom, in the end, shalom is because the kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our Lord. i am a servant and soldier, and work for that, but, not unlike the scene in Two Towers (Lord of the Rings 2nd movie) when the evil forces think they're about to eradicate all those in Helm's Deep, they don't know the whole story. those fighting in Helm's Deep see things slipping away, and know if who they hope in doesn't actually turn out to do what he say, they're done for. but they do not hope in vain. their savior comes to restore peace...not just absence of war peace, but peace that sets things right...that restores...and reconciles. that line reminds me that although i do not know anything about how far the enemy will push forward its boundaries, those boundaries have already been set, and they labor in vain. i fight, but the kingdom has already become the Kingdom.

"I know that my Redeemer liveth..." i almost literally cried when the soprano started singing. all that is before is predicated on this one line. enough said.

"The trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." i can't wait for this day. there are some things i look forward to in life. i hope for them, but if they never happen i'll be just fine. (e.g. jumping out of an airplane, base jumping, flying solo, hitting 200 mph in a wheeled vehicle, sitting on the italian coast, getting married, raising kids, making a christmas album, and probably a few hundred more) but this...for this i'll trade all those other things. it doesn't matter to me whether or not i'm in the "dead" category or the "we" category. i just want to hear that trumpet. i believe it will be played on a silver Schilke trumpet with silly putty in the mouthpiece, btw. (inside family moment)

that's a lot of moments. and it's why this will be a tradition for me each year. i try to keep a hold on these things each day, but there are minutes and hours and days and weeks where i hardly even know they're true. on the positive side, that used to be months and years...getting a litte quicker. :-)

at my other blog. sorry for the inconvenience.

for me, anyway. i figure if my sisters can have two blogs, why can't i?

really, they were partly the inspiration for this new blog of mine. krista's questions for me after my post on music were also. Ed Gilbreath's post about some of his favorite music and our comments also contributed.

so...check it out. it's new as of an hour ago. if you're inclined to contribute on the same things, let me know. i'd love some other contributors.

that-was-good.blogspot.com

i'll get to a little work on the design eventually. for now, you just get a recipe for cream of mushroom soup. :-)

there was an AP article in today's RedEye (a free, early morning, mini-paper by the Tribune) here in chicago. it was entitled Targeted with Hate, and it documents a few of the "incidents" that have taken place around the country since Barack Obama won the election.

it would be easy to dismiss these as isolated (which they aren't) and the work of some bad seeds. but if you note the actual people involved, you'll find that it's more insidious than than. and if you really get your arms around the volume of these sorts of things, and the way the states are blanketed, and the range of ages represented, what will start to come to light will be a tip. the tip. of an iceberg.

for every event where someone dares to counter "polite" culture and voice loudly his or her opinions in such a manner, there are hundreds and thousands of people who either find "appropriate" ways to share their thoughts with friends and colleagues, or who keep them bottled up so they need not endure the shame incurred when attached to the word racist.

here's a few of the events that have been documented so far.

1) in Snellville, Ga, a black woman said a boy on a schoolbus told her 9 year old daughter the day after the election: "I hope Obama gets assassinated." that same evening someone trashed the lawn of the woman's sister-in-law, mangling Obama signs and leaving two pizza boxes filled with human feces outside the front door.

she said, "i can't say that every white person in Snellville is evil or anti-Obama and willing to descrate my property because one or two idiots did it. but it definitely makes yo look a little differently at the people who you live with, and makes you wonder what they're capable of and what they're really thinking."

2)four North Carolina State University students admitted writing anti-Obama comments in a tunnel designated for free speech expression, including one comment that said, "let's shoot that [n-word] in the head."

3)in Standish, Maine, a sign inside the Oak Hill General Store read, "Osama Obama Shotgun Pool." customers could sign up to bet $1 on a date when Obama would be killed. at the bottom of the marker board, was written, "let's hope someone wins."

4) second and third grade students on a school bus in Rexburg, Idaho, chanted "assassinate Obama!" according to a district official.


the thing is, we all have prejudices in our hearts. even hearts given to Jesus still have the old junk battling away. we hold our purses closer or cross the street or check for our wallets and ready mental plans if something should happen...all just walking down the street. and from what i see in those few examples above, we're apparently talking about this stuff in the safety of our homes...where our second and third grade kids are listening. i mean, what second grader even knows what it means to be assassinated? they know nothing of the brutality and hate messaged in that statement of "assassinate Obama." sin is born in them, but that is learned behaviour.

and how strongly do you have to hate to leave two pizza boxes full of your own feces on someone's front porch? dog crap won't do. nope...this has to be human. it's easy. it's the kind of hatred that existed 400 years ago and 300 years ago and 200 and 100. and 40 years ago, when some rights were gained for a people oppressed, hate was not replaces with love. in fact, the word that's been used for pretty much every oppressed group and how we're to learn to live with them is tolerance.

well, Church, i wish i could let us off the hook on this one. we're lovers, not toleraters, right? we'd never teach our kids to say any such things as these kids did. except that an effigy of Obama was hung in a tree, in a noose, on a christian college campus in the NW, long known for being a more tolerant region. while the Church may have less of an issue with the blatant hateful things said and done in public (and my guess is that my colleagues and co-laborers might dispute that) the undercurrents that carry these sorts of thoughts and feelings run through us as much as through any caricature of a good ol' boy we can conjure up.

i heard a sermon last night which pointed out that we, the Church, have forgotten who we are. you might say we've forgotten whose we are. we live by earthly wisdom and make plans and decisions and solve problems with the systems of this world. but in I Cor 6, paul tells us we should be ashamed of that sort of thinking. we are Sons and Daughters. we are attached through blood to a King who would have none of the sort of behaviour described above. we are compelled through the love of that King to not just cease those sorts of things in our lives, but to stand up and speak as though we have authority...as though we have power...as though we have been changed. for we have authority and power and are being changed. we should not be afraid to speak. we should not be afraid to move, either in action or to a neighborhood. we are heirs. we are the very children of God. and this God is not above asking us to go to such places. in fact, He seems to have a penchant throughout scripture for moving His people into those sorts of places. and whereever will we find what it means to depend soley on Him if the places we move toward can be kept safe by mere men.

i am in this work of racial reconciliation/righteousness in the church, not because race is the key issue that God wants His people to understand, but because the issues that we face when confronted with race and our hatred/apathy/inaction...whatever shape it takes for us...those same issues run deep through our souls, minds, and hearts. and if we can begin to see and hear the man and woman who is slightly different than us, but largely the same, as God sees them, then we begin to see ourselves more clearly as God sees us. and our hearts become His heart. and our will becomes His will, and our love becomes His love.

i saw and heard a lot of things from the Church about Barack Obama during this campaign...that's all documented below. what i'd love to see and hear now is some of that Church speaking out loud and clear against such behaviour. for now, in my little corner of Chicago i'll be doing that. it's not easy, but i can't see any other way to stand as a man of God.

maybe the single most core thing God built into me when He knew me before the world began was music. i cannot explain to you how deep it goes...how a chord or transition or melody or instrument or voice can cause chills and momentary separation from whatever else is happening with the world.

i know lots of people love music...but this is beyond that. it's how a crystal glass might respond to a certain pitch. my innermost being vibrates with the wonder of notes and harmonies. i love to write, to sing, to play, to listen, to arrange...anything.

i am deeply in love with the vocal standards music from the 20's-40's, greatly due to the influence of my parents. i love the singer-songwriter style that has been the backbone to so much of the american music scene since the 60's. but there is one type of music which moves me more than any. it runs from a capella choral pieces to 100 piece orchestral ones, and even sometimes both together. classical music, which encompasses a very broad range of things, grips me like nothing else.

my friend, ed, and i...and a few others had a brief discussion on it over on his blog. he mentioned maybe starting a classical music blog, and ed...if you're reading this...i wanna do it.

i am caught up in the detail of Bach, the power of Beethoven and Wagner, and the magnificence of Tchaikovsky and Mozart. but no composer quite gets me...or i guess, do i get, more than Chopin. there are pieces by others that i love more than some of Chopin's work, but overall, his melodic feel, his chord progressions, his ability to bring fury and whimsy and subtlety and delicacy together has always amazed me...amazed me even on pieces i've heard scores of times. when i listen to his music i am often caught thinking "who does that? who thinks like that?" nothing is ordinary...indeed everything is extraordinary. and of all of the music which he's done, or that anyone in any style has ever done, no piece of music has ever been more perfect to me than the Larghetto...the 2nd movement...of his 1st piano concerto.

this is it. ten minutes of amazing creativity, of an amazing piano piece meshed exactly right with an orchestra. take your time in listening. it gets better as it goes. get a glass of wine, sit back, and close your eyes. listen to it a few times in a row to hear how the melody moves between the piano and the orchestra. listen to the love Chopin had for half step moves in his music. savor it like you would a great meal or that glass of wine you're about to have as you listen. don't just hear it. and maybe don't even watch it at first. listen.

i don't know when this was, and i didn't know i was being taped!

this is hilarious, and geeky all at once. the kid's got talent, that's for sure.

for the rest of the history of this nation this election will be important. it may never be remembered for successful or failed policies. in fact, it's doubtful that it will...with US foreign policy being the only exception i see.

what will be looked back upon in 20 years, 40 years, 100 years as important will be that out of a population in this country brought here under duress (what an understatement), held captive for 250 years by law, and another 150 by any means the dominant culture couldd think up...that the work carried out by harriet tubman, and w.e.b. dubois, and rosa parks, and martin luther king, jr, and innumerable others finally culminated in an advocate for these people for the first time in the white house.

however, he is not solely an advocate for black americans. as proven by the voting numbers, he's an advocate for other minority groups. he's an advocate for young white voters...even young white evangelical voters. he's an advocate for college educated voters, and non-college grads (like me). still, the significance in history, as people look back at this election will be mainly this. for the first time in our nation's history...one founded on the phrase "...that all men are created equal", a phrase never lived up to...we have a president who is not a white male.

i think people see this as historical because we believe he is a different leader than we've ever had...having humility, understanding, quiet confidence. i have faith in him as my president. full faith. it's not where my life's faith lies, but as president, i am confident in him. but my tearful moments did not come in relief that GW would soon be gone (maybe had i thought about it). they came watching a room full of young african-american students from spellman college dropping to their knees, and rising up in cheers. they came in hear john lewis interviewed, who fought in the civil rights battles of the 50s and 60s, and who choked back his own tears in admitting that no, he never thought this was possible in those years. he was fighting for the right to ride the same busses and eat at the same counters. the presidency was the furthest thing from his mind. they came in the tears of black men and women whose faces crossed my tv screen.

i, along with the rest of the white people in this country will never know how it felt that night to know that for the first time, someone like us had won the presidency. we've always been represented...very well, even if ideology differed. and we continue to be. when barack leaves the senate, it will lose the only black senator on the floor. nonetheless, the hope and belief that rose up on tuesday night...that's why this election will be important for the life of this nation and the rest of history.

a city on a hill.
a chosen people.
a royal priesthood.
a holy nation.
a tree planted by water.
the hope of the world.

i write this as a reminder to me and the people that voted for Barack.

Barack will not save the world. our work is the same as it ever was. it may be a little easier now. it may be a little harder. or a lot on either side. but it's the same work.

i write this as a reminder to the people that voted for John.

Barack will not end the world. your work is the same as it ever was. it may be a little harder now. or a little easier. or a lot on either side. but it's the same work.

and to all of us.

the nation does not need MORE prayer. the president does not need more prayer. they need prayer. the only way "more" should be attached to it is if there was no prayer in the first place.

we...those who follow Jesus...are the light of the world, a city set on a hill, a chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation.

if there is change that needs to happen, strive to make that true first.

don't only do it for yourself...do it corporately.

warn each other of sin.

spur each other on to good works.

encourage each other

disciple each other.

exhort each other.

do justice together.

be like trees...not a tree. stand in groves that are filled with all kinds of trees.

learn to worship in ways that don't include music.

learn to worship in ways that make you tremble, whether for your safety here on this earth, or for your safety before an awesome and mighty God.

be stewards, not savers or spenders. stewards. stored up treasure on earth is useless. you can't take your stuff with you. what a time to show a different mindset toward your material world!

and pursue His heart for others. one side of these political line is filled with people who believe the main call is to save souls. one side is filled with people who believe the main call is to work for the oppressed. one Man lived to show that there are no sides. there is salvation. the good news to be shared is for soul...and it is for the Kingdom, on earth as it is in heaven.